Have you ever noticed that your teens are distant from you; not physically, but mentally and heartily they are very far from you, rarely discussing and sharing their problems. They never have a one-on-one conversation with you and never go talking frankly with you. There always keep a space from you which is not very good.
Part of the reasons is because you never show them any frankness. Just give a check to your behavior when they made a mistake. Did you try to tackle them sweetly at that time? Perhaps you didn’t, instead, you probably scolded them or perhaps beat them. How many times have you done this to them? Once, twice…..a hundred?
All these things result in the distance between you and your teens. They will never share their problems with you because they think that instead of helping them, you will scold and beat them. They might be frightened of you. If you think your younger teenage child is not responding positively, then think strongly on this instead of using harsh words to stop them. Sometimes, you will have to let them go traveling, in order to let them gain confidence in themselves. This can be an education-based trip or even with some friends. You should also let them be able to solve their problems by themselves.
We all understand that as parents, you can get very conscious of your kids. However, remember the times when you were young and the freedom that you craved to learn more about who you are. Your responsibility as parents is to let them be secure without your influence.
The main reason that your children may not be friendly with you is that they do not encounter a friendly environment in the home. What is your role in all this? The main thing you have to do is to provide a friendly environment, be friendly to your children from the very beginning. If they make any mistakes, do not scold them harshly or beat them but rather sit down and explain to them the proper way for them to behave and handle things so as to not make a similar mistake. This will be the start of your friendship with your child.
Instead of telling them bedtime stories, talk to them and ask them how their day was. What did they do? Then tell them what they did wrong and what they did right. Learn to appreciate them for the right things that they do as well.
If you have not done these things for your child while they were growing up, it is not too late to start when they are teenagers. Tell them that you want to be their best friend. Make them realize that they should be open to sharing their problems with you and not just their friends. If they have any problems, they should tell you and you will be able to work together to solve them. Get to win their confidence and you will see a positive change in their lives and their future.
Never forget that you can determine your child’s future with your won behavior with them. The choice is up to you: their friendship or their fear.
Most parents feel insecure when their kids are not directly under their influence. They always have some fear in their mind of what could happen. Imagine a bird’s nest with baby birds. When the baby birds are ready, they will fly out into the sky and explore the world. Just like the baby birds, equip your children with the right tools for them to fly high.
This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t keep an eye on them. With the rise of the digital age, it is much easier to monitor your children to keep them saf . You can easily monitor your child remotely while they travel even though they are not directly in your presence.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Angelica Dowson is a tech and digital parenting expert. She is managing technical content at The One Spy. They use cell phone Spy Software to track location, listen to live phone calls and monitor social instant messaging logs.
Follow her on twitter @angelicadowson2